my bedroom
Originally uploaded by rachaelcanknit

i think the best thing to do here when i'm feeling bad is just to hang out and laugh about things. last night i watched this snl skit and the new episode of the office and just laughed so hard and it made me feel so much better about everything. hopefully by the end of this week everything will have come together. its such a frustrating feeling for me when i have all sorts of loose ends. i know that once classes start and registration (of course more red tape/stress) is over, i know i'll feel better.

and now, enough complaining, the moment you've been waiting for:

my pictures are online on my flickr account. now if i could only figure out how to post them the way i want ... its all seeming like endless frustration right now.

i feel like my life right now is an endless to-do list. hopefully the paper store is open till 7 tonight, because i need to get a berlin moleskine because i feel like my life is totally disorganized and i'm not sure where else to buy one. today was orientation, which felt like it took two eternities. hopefully tomorrow will be a little more fun - we're going around the city on a little bus tour. it is really hard not having a cell phone around here, but i'm sure it would be harder later in the semester, since i only have a few friends right now. this weekend was really nice, i had a traditional german dinner with kathi and all her friends and then last night i had a nice sushi dinner around the corner with kathi and kiki (aka roommate and her sister). this entry is totally disjointed (as are the last few) because thats how i've been feeling lately. i know the order in which i have to do things, but it all feels overwhelming still. hopefully i'll get it all straightened out soon enough. also, as soon as i have some more internet time, i have a lot of pictures to upload and put on here ... hopefully soon the internet will get straightened out because it is really annoying me at the moment.

yesterday was my first really lazy day here. it has been raining every day, and yesterday soon became no exception, so i sat inside watching silly shows dubbed into german, which is actually very funny. i also cleaned up the kitchen and did all the dishes before kathrin came home.


last night, after my day of lounging, i went to the ballet with tim, it was spectacular! the company is pretty young (only 3 years old) but it was in the staatsoper, or city opera house on unter den linden, which is the street with the brandenburg gate and the reichstag and humboldt university and all. it was really beautiful. the evening was the season opener, so tickets were even more expensive, and it was a gala of different pieces. we only paid 20 euros for seats that would have been 130 or 90 in my case. there were two modern ballet pieces that were exceptional, and the piece from don quixote that was fabulous. the finale piece was Ballet Imperial Part 1, choreographed by balanchine to tschaikovsky was my absolute favorite. it was SUPER balanchine and the company was perfectly synchronized and they danced it all beautifully, especially the main principles. then tim and i were sleepy, so we went home rather than going out anywhere. i was happy to see my roommate again, and we sat for a little on the couch, but she had to call someone on skype and i was exhausted so i went to bed.


today will probably be another lazy day because i have to conserve money. i would love to get a cappucino in a cafe somewhere, but i want to eat brunch here with the groceries i bought myself. i also have to try to make a budget/plan of how much i'm going to spend while i'm here. tonight my roommate and i are cooking and we're having a big dinner with her friends so i can meet more new people! apparently they do it every week, which is very cute. this weekend is something called "art forum berlin" all over the city, and tomorrow i'm going to try to see some galleries. it's also the berlin marathon this weekend, but i find that a little less interesting.

it's now friday, somehow, the last few days have gone by really fast. yesterday i had the WORST time falling asleep and a difficult time waking up too ... the jet lag is super apparent at this point. i hopped on the train and ventured out to the university. the weather in the last few days has been incredibly gray and dreary, and it lent a sort of dramatic background to FU, almost a foreboding one. combine that with all the paperwork i have to do, i managed to really stress myself out. i found my way around, bought my insurance and then found a cheap book sale and bought a book for 50 euro cents. i was really hungry, so i saw the dining hall and went in. as a middlebury student, i am used to just walking into a dining hall and being able to eat whatever i wanted, but i knew i would have to pay here. what i did not know is that the cash registers don't take cash, they take a special card that you need a student ID to get, and i still don't have one. the woman at the cash register was very patient and understanding, and gave me a "guest" card but it was still a little embarassing. i think its safe to say that no american eating establishment, college dining or not, would pass up the chance to make more money by accepting cash.


after that fiasco, i stood outside in line in the rain with other international students at the international student office, and after being jostled around a bit, got to the right part of the office and a VERY patient woman went through all the steps of the next few days with me. it was the most helpful. i feel sort of frustrated because i feel as if i've been told the things i need to do over and over again, and they still are a little unclear/confusing/so numerous that i can't keep them straight. i did feel good, however, when i got to leave that office knowing i had registered myself as a student and gotten through that red tape. now the german government's red tape will be conquered next week.


after that adventure i came home and walked all around and got lost, which was kind of fun, and found the tiergarten which is a HUGE park in the center of the city. i managed to make my way back eventually, finding the ku'damm and then getting back to my apartment. i picked up a baguette, some basil and a bottle of wine and had my friend tim over for dinner. i made pasta with homemade sauce and he brought armenian sausage that he had bought at the turkish market for 3 euros and it was SO delicious. the leftovers are in my fridge, and i'll most likely be eating them all week. after that we went to this cafe called "schwarzes cafe" which is his favorite place, and now is definitely mine. i was nervous that charlottenburg, although pretty and homey, was too quiet, but this place as incredible. its open 24 hours a day, has a whole mess of foods, including pretty reasonable/fun breakfast combinations. it has a HUGE drink list, including 3 kinds of absynth, which i sipped but did not actually order ... tim's had 68% alcohol content before he added the sugar and water. i felt very edgar allen poe.

then i came back to the apartment and proceeded to watch 2 episodes of pete & pete and an episode of clarissa explains it all DUBBED IN GERMAN. pretty ridiculous, really. then i ended up going back to the bar, because it was around 11-something and i had promised to call my mom at 1:30 am, and i ended up meeting two really awesome girls there who live nearby and got their email addresses since i still have no cell phone.

today i was going to go to the bürgeramt, but it closes in an hour and im too sleepy to deal with the german bureaucracy right now. the girls from last night told me about a smaller one with less people, so i'll have to wait in line much less, so i'll go over there probably punishingly early on monday or some other time next week. next week orientation starts (!!!!!) which is super exciting, but will take up more of my time at least on monday and tuesday, and then wednesday is a national holiday. tonight i'm meeting tim and we're going to try to get some cheap tickets for the season opening of the ballet (!!!!!!!!). they should be about 10 euros for seats that are normally 100-something. other than that i need to clean up the kitchen/my room today, and fill out some paperwork before i go to the offices. the homesickness has retreated a little bit, although it was really nice to talk to my mom last night, and i am missing some people from home a whole lot, i'm feeling better and better about things here. also, listening to wrmc on the internet helps a little too haha, as cheesy as that is.

today i started feeling homesick for the first time since i've been here. i felt sheepish about it because i've only been here for a few days but i'm already feeling sort of isolated and bummed. i think part of it was the massive hangover, which always makes me depressed, but i ended up going grocery shopping and bought chicken noodle soup and it all worked out. the grocery store was a REALLY interesting experience. german food is cheap, but weird. im going to be eating a lot of envelope soup i think ... its like 20 cents!!!! incredibly cheap. i'm listening to my alexxa and justine's radio show and its making me nostalgic for middleburyyyyy. tonight i ended up sitting on the couch eating soup and watching viva, which is similar to german mtv, and then i went out to tyler's and met a new friend who is originally from maryland. he and i have a dinner/tv date tomorrow night. friday my roommate comes back and hopefully i'll feel less lonely. talking about it with everybody and admitting that i was feeling depressed helped a lot and made me feel a lot more sure about myself.

tomorrow im heading out to explore FU and get all my paperwork together. it seems like i'll never be done with all the offices and bureaucracy, but hopefully it'll go well. i also have to figure out my cell phone and bank account, and i need to buy a blowdryer and a bike asap. so far its been one bad hair day after another haha. tonight made me very happy, this radio show is making me VERY happy, and planning for milan in november is also very nice. mmmmhmmm.

yesterday was the first full day, and things are already a little wild. all in all it started tame, because i spent a lot of time at home waiting for the airport to call about my luggage. i went to a little cafe on the street to get lunch, relaxed and read a magazine and had a cappucino. i went back to my apartment, waited and finally they called!! then i got on the Ubahn, which was a little confusing at first. i walked around dazed a little, looking at all the maps and figuring out my route, but eventually it all worked out. i walked from the Ubahn to tyler's apartment, which is just as nice as mine, except his room is HUGE. he has two female roommates and one is moving out next week and a guy is moving in. we ended up having some beers and going on an adventure seeking doener kebab. i ended up going to a middle eastern place and getting a chicken schwarma sandwich with falafel, which just isn't as good, so i'll have to get one next time.

we walked around a little more and then i had to catch the train before it stopped running. well down in the station i ended up meeting these 4 canadians who were trying to get on a train that wasn't running, and i helped them find where they were going and ended up going with them. i hung out at their youth hostel and partied with all these people in the woods, and then crashed and came home by bus and train this morning with a scottish hitch-hiker. everyone at the hostel was heading to munich eventually for oktoberfest, but i just don't think i can go. this weekend i have plans with my roommate and its too soon, and i don't know anyone going next weekend and i'm not sure what i'll have to do then. tonight will not be as big a party because tomorrow i have to go to the university and take care of some things. now my plan is to go out and get some groceries and bring them back, and then maybe walk around charlottenberg a little bit. i am very happy to be able to shower with all my shampoos and soaps, etc. i'm definitely starting to feel more at home. i think that everything will click once i start taking classes and have a schedule and am meeting new people.

this is my first post from berlin!!!! oh the excitement!!! i left the philly airport on friday at 3 pm. my flight to boston was insanely crowded and short but super late. in logan airport i had to jump on some shuttle to get to the international terminal, which was more stressful than i thought it would be. then, aer lingus did this funny trick which scared the crap out of me ... on the boarding pass it says "gates close" when the gate actually opens, so here i was in boston, with 10 minutes to get my boarding pass, get through security, and get on my flight. in reality, after i spazzed out and got to the gate "on time" all sweaty, that was when it was first opening for pre-boarding. i went to starbucks, got a smoothie and a gross chicken sandwich and ate it huffily, angry at myself for freaking out.

on my flight to dublin i sat next to these two HILARIOUS irish men. i couldn't sleep, so i watched pirates of the caribbean three. i probably slept for an hour toward the end of the flight, and then watched out the window once we were over ireland. the experience in the dublin airport was my least stressful by far, it was very tiny and clearly marked, and i sat and people watched until we boarded. it was the first time in my life that i got to actually walk out onto the tarmac and board the plane from stairs, which is something i always wanted to do, so i can check that off my life to-do list. it wasn't as kennedy-esque as i'd hope, but maybe if i ever land and walk onto the tarmac it'll be more satisfying.

baggage claim took forever, and of course, one of my suitcases didn't make it. i have to call the airport after this post to try to track it down, which is a little daunting on the phone auf deutsch, but i think i'll be able to do it. it is the suitcase with all my makeup/toiletries/shoes, so i really want it back. philipp the german picked me up at the airport, and seeing him standing there with a sign with my name on it was such an overwhelming feeling of relief. he went with me to the office for lost luggage, where they assured me it's most likely in dublin and should be here today (hopefully!). then we took the train to my apartment and chatted during the very long ride.

my apartment is absolutely STUNNING. once i have some free time to internet i'll upload pictures/get a flickr account i guess. my roommate is so nice and sweet and accomodating and she had my room totally set up with sheets and bed things and it was just adorable. i put up all my pictures and wall-things and it feels like mine. i then walked around my neighborhood, which is pretty wealthy and super nice. its on savignyplatz, which is an older area, and the apartments are beautiful. i can't wait to spend this week walking around and exploring the city and really getting my bearings. eventually tyler made his way over, and we hung out and talked about the city and our plans for a little while, and then we went to the park and ate currywurst mit pommes, which is a sausage with curry and loads of ketchup, and fries with mayo (yummmmm europe). then we went to a pub that is at the end of my block and drank some beer and just hung out and enjoyed berlin. the weather yesterday was GORGEOUS but today is cloudy and drizzly. it's making me want to stay in my snuggly bed, but i definitely need to get out and see things.

i'm feeling a little overwhelmed by the city and being so far from home. i'm also considering getting a german bank account, and not being able to call my mom easily to make plans about it is tough. the city seems huge, and i know i have a list of things to do but i'm feeling sort of confused by them. the good news is that my roommate has a cell phone that i just need to buy minutes for. that is a lot easier here than it is in the US. i'm going to go re-read some emails, make my plans for the day, shower and then head out. i'm feeling a little frustrated, especially since the internet magically won't work in my room so i'm sitting in my roommate's room right now. i think i'll feel better once i feel a little more in control.