clothes dryers, cranberries, credit cards and tampons

it's hard to believe that it is not only december, but one week into december, and thus i decided to post another update here. my mother, who by the way, is the only person who reads this blog, told me that this is the only one she reads anymore, and clearly thats because i'm her daughter but also because no one else seems to be updating that regularly. i think that part of this is because blogging is something that one has to do for oneself. it's exactly the same as keeping a journal, only its public and on the internet, which makes it slightly more gratifying in a creepily post-modern way because you can get feedback on it. the truth is, i write this blog for myself. when my mom gave the address out in september i was a little nervous because i no longer knew who was reading it and how it would reflect back on her, but now that i'm positive that no one reads this but us i feel that i can pretty safely lift the censor.

christmas has been feeling rather unchristmas-y here in deutschland, despite the prevalence of weinachstmarkten and the decorations in my apartment. it was unseasonably warm today, it has only snowed once when i was lucky enough to see it - drunk at 6 am when kathi and i decided to have a snowball fight outside of the apartment. other than that it has been rainy and overcast pretty much without end. the german aesthetic is completely different in terms of advertisements and media, and i think that in a big way that makes christmas feel different as well because the commercial aspect is pretty much most of what's left of the holiday in the united states, in my mind at least. i mean, i remember putting up the tree in my old house and my parents bickering comically over the entire process, i remember caroling with my girl scout troop, the smell of my cousin's basements on christmas eve when i would eat pepperoni and cheddar and have no room for dinner. i remember the excitement of walking to their houses in the cold, wearing most likely a homemade velvet dress, shiny shoes, seeing the monstrous teal and white of their prefab houses as we turned the corner on their street. i remember getting excited seeing my mom wearing lipstick and a festive outfit. i remember my giant pink stocking and staring at my ceiling listening really closely for elves or reindeer. and lets not forget putting out milk, cookies, carrots and a note for santa and the reindeer, and having them be eaten and responded to accordingly the next day. but christmas is also tied in with charlie brown on tv, peppermint drinks and holiday tea at starbucks, ripping apart presents and then groggily sitting around the house the whole day watching the movies you got and being overwhelmed by what to play with first, until it all sits piled by the tree waiting to be schlepped upstairs.

this year i cant really afford very many presents, and i don't think i'll be giving very many out. i have a few close friend here, but we havent really discussed gift giving. i'm spending christmas with my roommate and her family, which is really nice of them, but it'll be my first christmas outside of the US and while that is kind of relieving, it is also really bizarre. it all comes back to the fact that there are some things in this country that are just so different, and at times are incredibly frustrating. for one, the complete lack of clothes dryers and laundromats is astounding, and to remedy my stiff clothes i bought fabric softener which i am pretty sure has led to me getting a nasty reaction on my legs and back. also, foods that you wouldn't think of are just mysteriously absent from supermarkets. cranberries? creamed corn? dr. pepper? not to mention the fact that all of the cans are different sizes, and ingredients are measured in grams even if they are liquid, which makes recipe conversion difficult.

something that i find really hard to grasp as an american is the fact that all over the city, you can't use a credit card. the other night i had quite an embarassing supermarket trip in which i tried to use my new EC karte, which required a pin # that i didnt choose and therefore couldn't remember, and i had to walk all the way home to find it. the fact that a major grocery store chain, as well as THE APPLE STORE don't take credit cards astounds me. absolutely astounds me. as a full-bred american, from new jersey, one of the most consumer-saturated states in the union, DONT THEY WANT TO TAKE MY MONEY?? WHY ARE THEY MAKING IT SO DAMN DIFFICULT?? HOW DO GERMAN BUSINESSES SURVIVE?? does it have to do with the cold war? world war 2? is there a cultural reason why credit cards might as well not exist here? and the final thing that doesnt exist here, which equally blows my mind, is tampons with applicators. explain to me how they arent sold in two major drug stores. i dont even know if there are any other drug store chains in this city. applicator-free tampons ... IS THIS 1973? i mean, granted, they are better for the environment, less waste, cost efficient, etc., and after i had my little hissy fit over it, i felt kind of high school. i mean it's a 100% cliche sentiment to try to say, "oh when you're abroad everything is so different, even the little things, blahblahblah" and it sounds really condescending, but i really do realize the things i've taken for granted as being part of western first world countries, and i guess that's part of what europeans mean when they scoff at americans for wanting to "americanize" the rest of the world. but what's a world without credit cards and user-friendly tampons?

... i digress. outside of the occasional bouts of xenophobia, everything here is getting better and better. i really do feel more at home here every day, and i explore new parts of the city every day. school has been going well as far as i can tell, but it's so different from middlebury that it's hard to track your progress because you're entire grade hinges upon your final paper. i just got through week 8 of the semester, which is composed of 16 weeks so i'm offically half-way through this semester, which is crazy. it's even crazier to think about my friends who are at middlebury and are done with classes, starting finals, getting ready to go home and prepping for j-term, or time abroad, or graduation. thinking about that makes 8 weeks seem endless. everything else is business as usual - my room is a mess, i tend to have one or two freakouts every day, i'm coming to terms with being broke for the next 8 months of my life, and i'm trying to cover ground in the city and accomplish some things. tuesday night i went to the symphony with tim and saw charles dutoit conducting and a really famous pianist, which was really enjoyable (and my first time at a symphony!!). this week i started work on my final paper for my class on global justice, which is going to be about john rawls and charles beitz (thrilling stuff). last night kathi and i had some friends over to watch the season final of "popstars" which is a german version of american idol mixed with making the band. then i went with luisa to a bar in prenzlauerberg that was playing slavic music (mixed with some salsa, which was nice), and ended up hanging out with this guy who is a religion major at FU and lived in east germany before the fall of the wall and we talked about really bizarre cold war things. i've also been looking around for places to take ben when he visits, and also to take my mom and mrs. lide when they come in february. it's hard to entertain someone in this city for 4 days when they arent really interested in loud smokey nightclubs or 85 museums, but i'll see what i can come up with.