christmastime in berlin and a different view of the wall

in about three days it will be the beginning of 2008, which is an absurd thing to think about. spending christmas in berlin was actually very nice, but i missed my mother and friends. there is something very cathartic for me about the drive from vermont to new jersey and all that i associate with it. it's the end of a stressful semester, the beginning of a new year and a fresh start. its the hope that being home will be really fun (which it usually isn't, but that's okay). its the anticipation of christmas eve and new years and seeing everyone that i've missed. christmas here lacked a lot of christmas "spirit" for me, despite the fact that i tried very hard to be imbued with holiday cheer by way of weihnachstmarkten and glühwein and christmas songs.

christmas in germany is a three day calorie-binge affair, as i very much expected. much sekt was imbibed, much meat was consumed, and i even got some presents, which was really nice! it was a little saddening to see that people who barely knew me bought me more thoughtful presents than most of the members of my family could come up with, but i try to be thankful for everything that i get every year because it's really not the point. i gave my roommate and her sister homemade mittens, and gave her parents vouchers for homemade socks. i'm also going to surprise kathi's in-laws with homemade socks because they were also very kind to me this week and had me over for coffee a few times and gave me a brand new english novel as a gift, which was incredibly thoughtful of them.

the 24th, or heiligabend (holy night) consisted of meeting up with the in-laws (from now on gina and fred (hard g, not soft like in the states)) and taking the dogs on a long spaziergang (walk). kathi's parents and her in-laws live in the far north part of the city, practically on the border. we walked the dogs all of the three days, taking ditte (kathi and my dog) and gina and fred's two dogs (one of which is a 10 week old puppy!!!) all around the area that used to be the no-man's land of the berlin wall. it was amazing to see what it has turned into now. vast stretches of open land surrounded by forest which is now overpopulated with dogs and their owners and families going for long walks. it's a little surreal to walk through a wooded area and come out upon a large sandy tract, knowing that people may have been shot there trying to get into west berlin from the brandenburg area, which was technically part of the DDR (GDR). then we went back to kathi's parents apartment and opened presents!! as i said, i got everyone hand knit gifts. i received really beautiful yarn from kathi's parents - fall colors, which are my absolute favorite, sort of chunky weight and enough for a sweater. they also included needles, which is so sweet!! kathi and kiki got me a shirt that says "haupstadtrocker" which is cheesy, but i'll wear it when i get home. they also got me a little bookmark calendar. since i didn't expect anything, it was really sweet of them. then we got to the important part - food.

germans traditionally eat fondue at christmas and/or new years, but this is a different fondue than i've experienced via flea-market sets and the movie anchorman. kiki and i sat in the kitchen cutting raw lamb, beef, pork and chicken into thin thin strips. then we set up two fondue pots full of boiling water and set out the raw meat, raw shrimp, and about 7 different sauces. we also had broccoli, but the meat was the focus (duh). every person got two fondue forks and we proceeded to dig in. the gist of it is that each person puts some meat on the end of both of their forks, puts it in the fondue pot, and then when it's cooked you put another piece on, return it to the pot, and eat what you cooked with one of the sauces. it allows for you to eat very leisurely and talk and enjoy the meal. i have never eaten so much in my life. at the end of the meal, when all the meat is gone you drink the broth which is incredibly rich and delicious.

on the twenty fifth we came back for roasted lamb which was marinated for 3 days in red wine and apfelschörle, which is a sparkling apple juice. on the twenty sixth we had something called raklette, which i had never heard of before. apparently it's swiss, but its another german holiday-time tradition. we put out bowls of all sorts of vegetables and things - corn, tiny mushrooms, chopped peppers, chopped zucchini, mild goat cheese, chopped ham, pickles, and once again shrimp. a grill was set up in the middle of the table which had a grill surface on top, but also had space underneath for a bunch of tiny shallow pans with handles. we also had plates of cheese slices. basically we put some herbed butter on the grill and proceeded to grill the shrimp and also some potatoes, and filled the pan with an assortment of the aforementioned ingredients, covered it with a slice or two of cheese, set it in its slot under the grill and waited until the cheese melted. once the cheese melts you pull the pan out and consume the cheesy melty deliciousness.


needless to say i signed up for a gym membership in 2008 haha. it was a really gemütlich christmas, however. kathi's family is incredibly nice and welcoming and i felt right at home with them, playing with the dog and knitting a swatch for my sweater. i would love to start on it right away, but i need to work on some socks first and then finish the scarf i'm in the middle of. crunch time at FU has finally begun and i've been working all day on reading for my final paper, which is seeming to be impossible at this point. i know that once i start writing my ideas will easily fill 12 pages, but starting off is the hardest part. i need to really summarize all the readings in an outline and then i have a feeling i'll be able to get started. january will be a month full of work, but i think it will be enjoyable. my goal is to have one paper finished by the time ben gets here on january 13th. i think that is totally feasible, and leaves me a month for the other two.

celebrating new years in berlin should be really enjoyable and i'm leaving everything up in the air. i'm trying to keep my expectations low and stay low key with my celebration because too many plans always ends in disaster. i have plans to have dinner with my friend laura and some of her friends, then we're heading to a high point near where she lives to see fireworks. after that it's all up in the air - there are a few parties/clubs that i could choose and we'll just have to see. my only worry is paying 20 or 30 euros to get into a club and then want to leave. i have faith that it will be a good night, however, because it takes very little other than alcohol to make me happy :)

my new years resolutions this year are as follows:
1. absolutely no more drunk dialing in 2008. this is a good resolution because it will save money and dignity simultaneously.
2. to make my gym membership worth it and go at least once or twice a week.
3. to stick to my budget for the next seven months.
4. to clean the kitchen/bathroom or run the vacuum once a week, because my apartment gets dirtyyyy.
5. to make a list of museums/exhibits to visit and cross the names off once i go to them all :)
6. as with every year, to make every day memorable in some way.

to my massive readership - ich wünsche ihnen einen guten rutsch ins neue jahr!!! happy new year, see you in 2008 with a review of NYE and inevitably stress due to finals!!

i feel as if i begin every blog post by exclaiming at how fast the time has flown by. i find this to be a bit cliche, and so i think i should stop. today has been one of many lazy days that i've had lately and it's convenient to blame the weather, so i'll go in that direction. things in deutschland are rolling along as usual ... i only have this upcoming week of classes and then winter break until january something, which is kind of nice. i have a lot of work to do in the meantime, but its more fun to pretend that it doesn't exist. i'm also busy pretending that the dishes in the kitchen, laundry in the washer, and pile of reading on my desk also do not exist. i've started a disturbing new trend now that the weather has turned and have spent many a full day in my apartment. this is something i need to alter in the future. there is still so much of this city that i have yet to experience, i can't let myself get so comfortable that i stop exploring. i still want to see two remaining weihnachstmarkten and i also want to see the nutcracker with my friend jorunn. i'll update again after my doctor's visit on thursday, because i'm sure it will be thrilling.

clothes dryers, cranberries, credit cards and tampons

it's hard to believe that it is not only december, but one week into december, and thus i decided to post another update here. my mother, who by the way, is the only person who reads this blog, told me that this is the only one she reads anymore, and clearly thats because i'm her daughter but also because no one else seems to be updating that regularly. i think that part of this is because blogging is something that one has to do for oneself. it's exactly the same as keeping a journal, only its public and on the internet, which makes it slightly more gratifying in a creepily post-modern way because you can get feedback on it. the truth is, i write this blog for myself. when my mom gave the address out in september i was a little nervous because i no longer knew who was reading it and how it would reflect back on her, but now that i'm positive that no one reads this but us i feel that i can pretty safely lift the censor.

christmas has been feeling rather unchristmas-y here in deutschland, despite the prevalence of weinachstmarkten and the decorations in my apartment. it was unseasonably warm today, it has only snowed once when i was lucky enough to see it - drunk at 6 am when kathi and i decided to have a snowball fight outside of the apartment. other than that it has been rainy and overcast pretty much without end. the german aesthetic is completely different in terms of advertisements and media, and i think that in a big way that makes christmas feel different as well because the commercial aspect is pretty much most of what's left of the holiday in the united states, in my mind at least. i mean, i remember putting up the tree in my old house and my parents bickering comically over the entire process, i remember caroling with my girl scout troop, the smell of my cousin's basements on christmas eve when i would eat pepperoni and cheddar and have no room for dinner. i remember the excitement of walking to their houses in the cold, wearing most likely a homemade velvet dress, shiny shoes, seeing the monstrous teal and white of their prefab houses as we turned the corner on their street. i remember getting excited seeing my mom wearing lipstick and a festive outfit. i remember my giant pink stocking and staring at my ceiling listening really closely for elves or reindeer. and lets not forget putting out milk, cookies, carrots and a note for santa and the reindeer, and having them be eaten and responded to accordingly the next day. but christmas is also tied in with charlie brown on tv, peppermint drinks and holiday tea at starbucks, ripping apart presents and then groggily sitting around the house the whole day watching the movies you got and being overwhelmed by what to play with first, until it all sits piled by the tree waiting to be schlepped upstairs.

this year i cant really afford very many presents, and i don't think i'll be giving very many out. i have a few close friend here, but we havent really discussed gift giving. i'm spending christmas with my roommate and her family, which is really nice of them, but it'll be my first christmas outside of the US and while that is kind of relieving, it is also really bizarre. it all comes back to the fact that there are some things in this country that are just so different, and at times are incredibly frustrating. for one, the complete lack of clothes dryers and laundromats is astounding, and to remedy my stiff clothes i bought fabric softener which i am pretty sure has led to me getting a nasty reaction on my legs and back. also, foods that you wouldn't think of are just mysteriously absent from supermarkets. cranberries? creamed corn? dr. pepper? not to mention the fact that all of the cans are different sizes, and ingredients are measured in grams even if they are liquid, which makes recipe conversion difficult.

something that i find really hard to grasp as an american is the fact that all over the city, you can't use a credit card. the other night i had quite an embarassing supermarket trip in which i tried to use my new EC karte, which required a pin # that i didnt choose and therefore couldn't remember, and i had to walk all the way home to find it. the fact that a major grocery store chain, as well as THE APPLE STORE don't take credit cards astounds me. absolutely astounds me. as a full-bred american, from new jersey, one of the most consumer-saturated states in the union, DONT THEY WANT TO TAKE MY MONEY?? WHY ARE THEY MAKING IT SO DAMN DIFFICULT?? HOW DO GERMAN BUSINESSES SURVIVE?? does it have to do with the cold war? world war 2? is there a cultural reason why credit cards might as well not exist here? and the final thing that doesnt exist here, which equally blows my mind, is tampons with applicators. explain to me how they arent sold in two major drug stores. i dont even know if there are any other drug store chains in this city. applicator-free tampons ... IS THIS 1973? i mean, granted, they are better for the environment, less waste, cost efficient, etc., and after i had my little hissy fit over it, i felt kind of high school. i mean it's a 100% cliche sentiment to try to say, "oh when you're abroad everything is so different, even the little things, blahblahblah" and it sounds really condescending, but i really do realize the things i've taken for granted as being part of western first world countries, and i guess that's part of what europeans mean when they scoff at americans for wanting to "americanize" the rest of the world. but what's a world without credit cards and user-friendly tampons?

... i digress. outside of the occasional bouts of xenophobia, everything here is getting better and better. i really do feel more at home here every day, and i explore new parts of the city every day. school has been going well as far as i can tell, but it's so different from middlebury that it's hard to track your progress because you're entire grade hinges upon your final paper. i just got through week 8 of the semester, which is composed of 16 weeks so i'm offically half-way through this semester, which is crazy. it's even crazier to think about my friends who are at middlebury and are done with classes, starting finals, getting ready to go home and prepping for j-term, or time abroad, or graduation. thinking about that makes 8 weeks seem endless. everything else is business as usual - my room is a mess, i tend to have one or two freakouts every day, i'm coming to terms with being broke for the next 8 months of my life, and i'm trying to cover ground in the city and accomplish some things. tuesday night i went to the symphony with tim and saw charles dutoit conducting and a really famous pianist, which was really enjoyable (and my first time at a symphony!!). this week i started work on my final paper for my class on global justice, which is going to be about john rawls and charles beitz (thrilling stuff). last night kathi and i had some friends over to watch the season final of "popstars" which is a german version of american idol mixed with making the band. then i went with luisa to a bar in prenzlauerberg that was playing slavic music (mixed with some salsa, which was nice), and ended up hanging out with this guy who is a religion major at FU and lived in east germany before the fall of the wall and we talked about really bizarre cold war things. i've also been looking around for places to take ben when he visits, and also to take my mom and mrs. lide when they come in february. it's hard to entertain someone in this city for 4 days when they arent really interested in loud smokey nightclubs or 85 museums, but i'll see what i can come up with.